Reclaiming My Womanhood As a Mom
Motherhood is wonderful, beautiful, and rewarding!
I'm sure you've heard all of those descriptions posted along with posed pictures on social media and smiling faces. While I believe all of those words to be true, there's another truth about motherhood that's less talked about and that's the fact that it's not always enjoyable.
Oops. Did I just say that?
The truth is that there are times when being a mom is downright messy. Between late nights, early mornings, and a lack of sleep, you may have moments when you feel dazed, confused, and worn out.
Let's not even talk about social life. What's that?
There's no arguing that you sacrifice a lot when you become a mother.
I'm not complaining, though. I'm just stating the facts. Motherhood is tough.
As a single mother, I allowed the tough moments to bring me so low that I suffered from depression. I was influenced by the rules of society that says when you become a mother, you have to put your dreams on hold My passions and goals were put on the back burner and I went all-in on motherhood.
I worked all day, then rushed straight into motherhood: cooking, feeding, cleaning, helping with homework, taking the kids from this activity to the next activity. I was exhausted and mentally depleted. My cup was empty. Eventually, I became resentful and began to see my children as a curse instead of a blessing.
I used to wonder, "Where is my time? When can I fulfill my dreams? When do I get to enjoy life?"
If I enjoyed life, I would be considered a – gasp! – bad mom.
I honestly believed that enjoying me-time wasn't an option and I felt like I was living a bad dream.
I started taking note of other moms who I thought were just dope women. They were all thriving in their careers or starting businesses and building brands. They were fearlessly pursuing their dreams and they were better moms because of it.
Once the epiphany hit that my identity didn't begin or end with being a mother, I saw my children as a blessing. Motherhood has enhanced the beauty within me.
Living up to society's standards of motherhood isn't even on my radar because it's my journey to travel and to embrace. It took me too many years to understand that I can create and live a life I love and in doing so, that is self-care.
Self-care is different for everyone and you have to find out what that looks like for you. Pursuing my dreams, crushing my goals, and fulfilling my purpose is a way of being mindful of myself in the midst of caring for everyone else.
About the Author
Shilene Aaron is a wife, mother of four, and creator of The Mama Mogul, a podcast and community for moms seeking to regain clarity of their dreams after entering into motherhood. Her mission is to inspire and empower moms to live life out loud. With Christ at the core, Shilene helps moms realize that motherhood is a journey not a destination.