How I Chose Faith Over Fear (and you can, too)

Photo by Diana Simumpande
Photo by Diana Simumpande

In 2014, I started my own business: KForte Creative Communications. In all honesty, I had zero intention of it becoming an actual thing! I just wanted to gain some post-graduate experience to land a career job. The American Jazz Museum and Negro League Baseball Museum were among my first clients and as soon as I got to the point where I needed to hire people, I quit.

I didn't realize it then, but I quit because I was scared. Scared of failing. Scared of not being good enough. Scared of being seen as a fraud.

As I bounced from job to job over the next six years (still freelancing projects here and there), fear was replaced with complacency, discontentment, and bouts of depression. It didn't matter how skilled I was or how much money I made. I felt empty. The irony of it all is that I started to believe the fears I had about running my own business were true in the traditional workplace. I believed I failed, I wasn't good enough, and I was a fraud.

Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." 

During that time, I saw this scripture come to life. In those experiences, I learned a lot of great lessons and created life-long relationships with some amazing people. I also had horrible experiences that shook me to the core and I'm grateful to have learned the lessons presented there, as well.

The greatest lesson of all for me came at the cusp of the new year when I realized that as long as I didn't honor my purpose, I would never find fulfillment and I would never be content.

So here I am ⁠— hello, 2020! ⁠— finally choosing faith over fear and walking in my purpose. I know it's not going to be easy and success isn't going to happen overnight, but I'm ready.

Here's the thing: being ready doesn't mean that I'm not scared. Faith, after all, isn't the opposite of fear. Faith is what you do in spite of it. What's different this time is that I can check the negativity at the door because what I'm doing is rooted in who I am, not how I want to be seen.

When I'm scared of failing, I remember that God is within me and I will not fail (Psalm 46:5).

When I'm scared of not being good enough, I remember that I am God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works that He prepared in advance for me to do (Ephesians 2:10).

When I'm scared of being seen as a fraud, I remember that I am strong and courageous, not afraid or discouraged, because the Lord my God is with me wherever I go (Joshua 1:9).

Digital marketing and health coaching will always be part of what I do and I'm so excited to offer those services with my husband through our joint venture, Grace & Grind! However, when it comes to my purpose, those are just the tools. My purpose is to help people connect the dots between self-care and success and that starts by realizing self-care is the most selfless thing you can do. Expounding the truth of God's word to uplift and encourage other women is why I exist.

Looking back, I know every experience I had was just another puzzle piece that made up the big picture and led me to this moment today. Was it all worth it? Heck yeah. I wouldn't have it any other way.